My Last Day at DEC

FYI: I've decided to make this entire posting profanity free, as a shout-out to KC at work, who said she couldn't read half of what I wrote here. This one's for you, Crissman. haha.


So I just finished my last day at the Department for Excpetional Children (aka the best job ever). It's been a really great summer. I just loved my coworkers - and I loved going to work everyday. And although I started working two days after commencement, and have worked full-time until today, it seems like the summer has just flown by.

So the phone this week has been ringing off the hook at DEC, because everyone just came back from summer break on Monday. So it kind of sucked, because I was so busy during my last week that it just flew by and was over before I knew it.

And today (my last day) was also the last day of work before school starts, so it seemed like everyone was running around having to get things done all day. I spent, like, the whole day on task instead of goofing off. What kind of a work-day is that? Sheesh.

In other news - Carol Capehart, an awesomely funny and smart psychologist from work - left today for New Zealand, where her daughter is on foreign study. If you're reading this, Carol, hope you're having an awesome time! (Or have just gotten back from having an awesome time!) And don't forget to send me pictures and funny/irreverent stories about your adventures in the southern hemisphere.

So yeah, I don't have anything particularly funny or pertinent to say today. Just wanted to document my last day at DEC. Tomorrow, I am determined to have an incredibly productive packing/cleaning day. My two major projects are to clean out my car, and take a load of stuff to the Goodwill that's been sitting on my stairs all summer. And I'd like to pack at least one more suitcase for Wednesday - WHEN I'M MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'm ready to piece out.)

Okay, Kathy, I know I said this was going to be free of profane phrases, but I really think that you should replace the word "punks" with "bitches" in your youth group. I think it'd be so funny to hear you say, "Ok, bitches, it's time to pray," or "Watch your mouths in church, bitches." Just a thought ...

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ...

... "I've had it with these mothafuckin snakes on this mothafuckin plane."


Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you, the #1 movie in America!!! Bwahahaha. I am so in love with this movie. I love the story of how it got made, and that everyone involved knew how absurd it was. I think it's a breath of fresh air when, for once, the assholes in Hollywood don't take themselves too seriously.

Friday night, Philipp and Esther drove up from Greenville, and had dinner with me and Sara at the Dean & Deluca, then we all went to see what shall heretofore be referred to as "THE MOVIE". I was a little worried when we walked into the theater, because there were probably only about 20 to 25 folks in there. However, it soon became evident that though we were small in number, we were united in our reason for attendance.

Everyone there was prepared for exactly the same movie-going experience ... and we were NOT disappointed. Samuel L. Jackson's first line in "the movie" was "Do as I say, and you live." Sara maintains that at this point, I clapped and squealed like a little girl, but I'm not so sure. I just feel like that set the tone for the entire film. And that shit delivered like Dominos.

By the time we got to Sammy's big line, "Enough is enough ..." etc, the entire audience (all 20 of us, haha) erupted into applause. It was one of the most satisfying movie experiences of the summer. You MUST go see it.

WHAT?!?!?!?!

I'm so upset about last night's Project Runway. I can't even believe that Alison was kicked off the show! She has made such beautiful stuff over the last five challenges. And if Kayne can be kept based on his past performance, and a blind eye turned to what was his TRAINWRECK of a dress, then Alison should've stayed, and Vincent should've gone.

I think the producers are keeping Vincent because he's a time-bomb waiting to explode. Let us remember that this douchebag cashed in his 401K to come do project runway - he's got the most at stake, and huge potential to just go postal.

Also, as irritating as I find Jeffrey, I think he should've won last night. I love Michael, but I was shocked that he won back-to-back challenges AND beat Jeffrey.

I'm glad Laura finally got her props, and was asked to stay on the runway. She's been my favorite from day one - and I LOOOOOVE that she was so pissed when Alison was kicked off that she attacked Vincent and his horrid, unworkable dress. I'm with her 100% in this battle. My little drag queen's gonna conquer the world, goddammit. (And in similar news: I'm not pleased with Kayne's attitude. I'm not opposed to cutting a bitch if he crosses my girl Laura again. He's proven himself SUCH a BITCH. And his whole, "Oh yeah? well this is what I think" reactionary bullshit is the epitome of queeny self-consciousness.

He's just a fat girl all grown up with too much to prove. He's quickly climbing the shit-list.

Anyway, that's all for today. I'm sure I'll write a huge weekend update after SNAKES ON A PLANE this weekend! Philipp's coming to town. (Yay!)

So I'm a little behind again ...

I just posted a draft that I saved last week. (Or the week before?) But here's a fresh posting for today, as well.

Last weekend, I took Friday off of work, and drove up to Greensboro to spend the day with Carolyn Carrier - quite possibly one of my favorite people EVER. We had sushi with her friend Josh, who plays piano and is good times, then hit the mall for some pedicures (Holla! My feet were nasty.) After a leisurely afternoon of window shopping and getting our toes did, we did dinner at the Chick-fil-A and then saw the great cinematic event that was, "STEP UP."

Carolyn and I LOVED it, because it was SOOOO bad. There were some beautiful people in it, and a definite homoerotic subtext. Throw that in a pot with some "school of hard knocks" melodrama, a banging soundtrack, and costumes rivaled only by those of "Flashdance." And Carolyn and I had a bonding moment, as the main character - John B. Forgettable - got on a city bus, and threw his hood up over his head. We both leaned over to one another and said, "That's so 'Eight Mile'." Ergo, she is amazing and I will miss her terribly next year.

Saturday, we had some Moe's and did a little shopping for school supplies - UNCG started classes YESTERDAY. (PS - How in the hell did I end up at yet ANOTHER school that doesn't start until after labor day?) For dinner, I drove out to High Point to meet BHo - another love of my life - and had dinner at Big Ed's Chicken Pit (quite possibly the best chicken fingers in the universe) with her, Wade, and Sarah Miller (no, the other one).

I drove back to Gastonia after dinner Saturday, and then on Sunday, Sara and I went to our favorite Starbucks to study - she for the MCAT and I for my upcoming placement tests. I've finally reached the Baroque in my review, and it's getting some kind of tedious, haha. But it's been nice to see how much I actually remember from the course. I've got most of the powerpoint slides, and all four of the tests, and am hoping to finish up my history review this weekend. Then next week, I'll review theory - blech. I'm not trying to get to BU and be remedial. I can just see the people up there being like, "We gave him HOW much money?" Then bursting into laughter and/or tears.

Anyway, I can't wait for this weekend. Philipp's coming to Gastonia, and we're all going to see SNAKES ON A PLANE - "the one summer blockbuster that's guaranteed to take a big nasty bite out of ya butt." Ya heard?

It's About Effing Time

So, AT LONG LAST, Keith Michael's arrogant ass has been removed from Project Runway. I must say, however, that my victory was bittersweet because I hated that Bonnie was eliminated ... and that ANGELA (of all people) won the challenge. My biggest observation, and confirmation of what I've been saying all along: Laura and Michael (aka Drag Queen and ATL) are the real masterminds of this operation. They will prevail! (Par exemple: They saved Angela from herself, in terms of those tacky-ass Rosettes.)

And I love that the producers think that Angela is a great big nut-case as well! That music when she was making those mind-numbing rosettes was like, "doop de doop de doo." It was very "Happy Hour at the Nervous Hospital." Haha, "Today kids, as a special treat, we're going to let you play with pointy needles and little bunches of tacky-ass fabric." It's the fashion equivalent of glue, glitter, and elbow macaroni.


In general, I thought the designs this week were underwhelming. I didn't even like the design that won. And I thought for sure that Robert's ass was going home. I mean, what the hell WAS that thing? The jacket was cute, but the top and bottom of the actual garment looked completely incogruous. Je ne le comprends pas. I love that Kayne was a total tattle-tale this episode. He was all up into some getting Keith kicked off. It was like a flashback to elementary school. And judging by this fat-kid picture of Kayne as a child, I bet he did his fair share of tattling then too. (Pic is from bloggingprojectrunway.blogspot.com)

So tomorrow I'm going to Greenville immediately after work, and having dinner with Allison McCann! I'm really excited, because Allison is one of my favorite people in LIFE. Haha. She's brilliant and kind, and she's going to do amazing things. (And her parents are too sweet for words.) Then I'm hanging out with Sarah and David, and Laura Kelly! Then Saturday morning, I have to pick up Kristi's dog from the kennel - her new basset is AMAZING. He's just precious. And his name's Kermit. How cute is that? Then Saturday afternoon is Rebecca's wedding, where I'll be seeing a ton of the singer people that I love and will miss terribly when I move to Boston.

Sunday morning, Sarah and David and I are singing at John Calvin! So it'll be awesome to get to see all the people I love there. I haven't been there at all this summer, because I've been so busy, and I'm pretty sure I won't be making it back there again before I leave for Boston. So hopefully they'll want to do lunch or something afterward!

So anyway, I guess that's about it for today. I'll holla at you later.

Wed Aug 2

So it's August already. Eek!

Yesterday, I was surfing the net at work, and caught the Singing City website. (Singing City is the organization that Tamara sang the Brahms Requiem with when she took us to Philly.) And they had pictures from the performance. And in these two, you can totally see me and Ben, haha. Ergo, we are famous and better than you.


Also, in my net surfing, I found that Shirley Q Liquor has an entry on Wikipedia. And in honor of her royal fabulousness, I'd like to list the names of her nineteen "chirrrn," as cited on the Wikipedia. (The posting itself cites the song "Who is my baby daddy," which is something of a parody of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," and as such, lists no fewer than 47 names - though Shirley herself only claims 19 chrrn.)

Cheeto, Limbo, Cracker Jack, Orangejello (pronounced uh-ron-gel-o)
K-Martina, Salmonella, Velveeta, Genitalia
Catfish (pronounced Catfeesh), Leroy, Coco Puff, Pluto
Penelope, Jack Daniels, Buford, Lemonjello (pronounced luh-mon-gel-o),
Aloe Vera, Maybelline, Gingivitis, Brylcreem,
Cru-ex, Nyquil, Gangster-Q, Daffodil,
Ron Bacardi, Captain Morgan, Democtorius, Delorean,
GyneLotrimin, Felicia, Chlamydia, Champagne,
Nova Scotia, Bubblicious, Couponita, Gonhorrea,
Ice Bucket, Buttuglia, Visine, Margarita,
Percolator, Terminator, Velcro, Tae Kwon Do,
Veracello, Chromosone, Obstetricia, and Shi'Thead (pronounced Sha-theed).

Shirley also held a fundraiser in her house for the Save Diana Ross Foundation, which successfully raised over $4.32, with a drag show, in which Shirley's 2 gay sons, Lemonjello and Orangejello performed as the Supremes, singing "I'm Coming Out," then "snatching off they wigs and looking defiant." According to sources, the performance was met with polite applause.

In other news, I can't wait for Project Runway tonight!!! It's going to be amazing. Any guesses as to who will be the one eliminated? The teaser at the end of last week's episode led us to believe it would be Kayne, but I have a hard time believing that the folks at Bravo would make it that easy for us. We shall see ...

A domani ...